To begin with, I started out my time in Pennsylvania rather sloppily. Not that I meant to, really... I just wasn't working hard enough not to, I'm ashamed to say. I had a three month deadline before I would have to move out of my Aunt and Uncle's (where I am staying) and either into an appartment or back home to Washington. I set myself up a routine of checking online job websites, including Craigslist and a number of others... but that is all I did. And I was pretty sloppy with that, too, apparently- often getting a late start in the day.
It took a strong letter of rebuke from concerned parents to jar me from that. It stung, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. So, I started 'pounding the pavement,' as in-person communications do tend to be the best way to get a job. So I searched. My reward? About a week later, while I was out on my searching, I get into an accident and total the car. Well... God has a purpose in that, I'm sure... I just don't know what.
At that point, I hit a bit of a slump again, but was very fortunate to have my Grandfather sell me his car (as he was just preparing to buy a new one) a transaction that, with insurance and title-changeover proceedures, has taken about a month to achieve but is now complete... minus paying off the car, of course.
By this time, a second month had about slipped past, and I was just a little over a month from my deadline, Nov. 1st. (Technically, 3 months would be Nov. 6th, but I decided not to argue the point considering that my relatives had generously opened their home to me, be it for 90 days or 84.) And then, finally, the job searching began to get results. And by God's twist of irony, what results would those be? Call-backs... from the internet job-searching. I think it was very much a matter of simply humbling myself, of being willing to get out and search in person, to do the hardwork, to break out of my comfort zone and do what needed to be done, that God was waiting for before He opened the doors He had for me.
So, I now had interviews. A pair- a studio in Lafeyette Hills, PA, and another one in Cherry Hill, NJ. (Right across the border from Philly.)
The interview at Lafeyette Hills didn't go so great. They had been advertising a full time position but were really looking for more of a contractor. And their interview- whether it really was harsh, or I was just percieving askew that day- was frustrating and demoralizing- it almost felt like a trial, or a session of "Good cop, bad cop." As they said, "To separate those who really have talent from those who just think they do." That was frustrating.
Much better was the interview in Cherry Hill. Friendly people, work I knew how to do inside and out, a great location, a fun company, they even used the same editing software I do (Adobe Premiere on PC, unlike the other place, which used Mac and Final Cut Pro.). It was far closer to the Harrisons- about half the drive time even if I lived on the opposite side of the city somewhere. Getting there, on the other hand...
The thing is, this is litterally RIGHT on the other side of the river from Philladelphia. Which means... you have to cross THROUGH Philly to get there, and over the bridge- there simply is no other route from this direction. And apparently, the streets and highways of Philly were designed by Saducees, because they do not seem to believe in redemption- you make one wrong turn, and you are very simply... in deep trouble. There are hardly any exits, and certainly no clear signs for freeways after you exit, and CERTAINLY no reverse routes to get BACK to where you made the wrong turn... I am finding this to be the case very often on the east coast. The very worst is what I have taken recently to calling "Wilmington, Helleware"- a nightmarish state, that one... the bane of direction givers, online map websites, and sense of direction-finding alike... I have not visited there once without getting lost and spending 20 minutes going around in frustrated circles. Literally. And this includes routes I've been on multiple times before. But second to that are the highways around Philladelphia. And so it was that I found myself, out of time, a few minutes from my scheduled interview, lost somewhere in New Jersey driving along a road (hitting all red lights of course) seemingly devoid of ANY freeways entrances, having just turned around from pursuing a direct-line course back towards Philly, which I could see, only to end at a dead end at the docks on the river that kept me from it... I was miserable. Let me tell you... I have heard several people tell me how well I have been handling all of the stress- and believe you me, the last three months have had just about every stress that moving out on one's own COULD have, and then some- and I can only conclude it is because they only have my own verbal reports to rely on and haven't seen me in person, on the verge of panic every other day, or out pacing around the field for what feels like hours but is probably minutes with the only thing running through my head being something to the effect of "HelpmehelpmehelpmeGodpleasehelpmeohpleaseGodhelpmehelpmehelpmeGodpleaseohGodohGodohGodohGodhelpmeplease..."
Or, as was the case in this particular instance, broken down into frustrated sobs, the burden of everything I'd been experiencing of late all come to a head upon my shoulders (how that for a turn of phrase?), crying aloud my frustrated prayers in a ragged shout. I felt very much like Captain Picard in "Q Who," when the Enterprise first encounters the Borg- as they ship is being pursued by the inexorable, undefeatable Borg cube, past their maximum speed limit with the Borg still gaining, damaged, helpless, Picard turns to the gloating Q, asking him "What is it you want, Q? You want me to admit that we are not ready? For the moment, I admit that. You want us to admit that we're frightened? Oh yes, we are frightened! You want to hear me say I need you? D***IT, Q, I NEED YOU!" At the moment, Picard has to swallow all of his pride, be reduced to utter humillity, because he knows that the circumstances are simply not those that he can handle on his own, ever. He is willing to do that, but also angry, frustrated that things have even come to the point where he has to do so. Likewise, I was crying out to God "I cannot do this alone! I know that, Lord- I've never claimed to think otherwise! Please, PLEASE, just HELP me!"
Two things happened at once. One, I was flooded with a peace that I had not known for quite some time. Two, I turned a corner in the road and came face-to-face with a sign for the exact freeway route that I had been looking to get back to. At that moment, I was almost sure that Cherry Hill was the job for me. It was like God had just sent a beacon through the darkness and said "I am helping you- this is what I have prepared for you."
The interview seemed to bear this out. The people were friendly. The work was good. I knew everything down pat that they asked me in the interview. They gave me a test edit and I aced it- even adding a few special touches that I think impressed them. The job sounded fun, location ideal- one of the guys even asked me how I did the effects on Fresh Snow Clones- his co-workers were as impressed as I was that he actually went all through my website, not just the demo reel, and actually remembered the name of one of my movies- in fact, as we passed one of the work computers, I did a double-take as I saw several of my movie files downloaded on the desktop! As I left there, I was actually singing "I feel good!" by James Brown and dancing around on the elevator ride down.
Time passed. I got in the accident, totalled the car. Got a new one. Things were looking lousy. Had some difficult personal situations as well... spiraling into depression which, thank God, my best friend snapped me out of- like my parent's letter about the job situation before it, it stung, BADLY- but it was also just what I needed to shape up.
Cherry Hill called, and offered me the job. There was more dancing and singing. Rejoicing. Calling of friends and family to tell them the good news. I changed my Myspace name from "The Seeker" to "The Employee." I was on top of the world- searching for appartments, making budgets, and very, very happy.
Of this were a movie, you could almost see the "Until..." coming.
The offer letter arrived, and... I was being offered $17 an hour, as agreed upon, for an initial month and a half trial period of 3-day a week work (a somewhat difficult proposition, as that came out to the equivalent of working a 40 hour week for $10 an hour- not enough to finance moving out during that first month, when I would need it the most!), and then transitioning to full time at... $25,000 annually. About $12 an hour. NOT enough to make a living on... well, technically, scrimping, saving, finding an appartment where rent/utillities were combined $500 a month... but only if you forgo tithing, which isn't an option. I had to tell them that I simply couldn't afford to take the position. Then they offered that if they dropped the health and dental benefits, they could pay $30,000 annually (just under $15 an hour.) THIS, I could work with! The celebrations were back on, making a living was viable again- and then they wrote and said that benefits were determined by some national census, and dropping the benefits would mess up their rates, and something, and something else, and bottom line, $25,000 with benefits was their best offer. I had to say no- I want the job, but I just couldn't mae a living off of it!
I was, suffice it to say, crushed. Very depressed. My Myspace name changed from "The Employee" to "The ^@*&%@#ing Bowling Pin"- someone who keeps getting set up and then knocked down- which really DOES seem to be my story for the last 5 months or so, over and over again... I have been 'screwed over' as the saying goes, by so many jobs of late...
Anyhow, back to square one. I found this out just as the One Month Left mark hit.
Then, another pair of interviews cropped up. One in Malvern, PA, maybe 10 minutes away from where I am staying, and the other in Kutztown, about an hour north- the wrong direction, farther away from the Harrisons, but hey- if it would be a chance to work here and stay... everything had seemed so perfect, so ideal with the Cherry Hill job, as if it had been God's perfect gift, every aspect perfectly tailored to be just right for me, bring me closer to the Harrisons, etc... but now I had moved from a matter of 'ideal' to a matter of survival.
The Malvern sent me a sample car comercial to put together from their sample script- they provided about thre graphics and a jingle clip, and the rest was up to me. I think I knocked it out of the park, personally- especially given what I had to work with. However, as the days and weeks passed, I began to wonder if anything would come of it. Finally, I was called in for an interview. The environment was friendly and relaxed, the work interesting and fun, and the people quite friendly. I was asked to cut another editing demo, a car comercial, with a few more resources this time- and despite some technical issues, everything turned out quite well. I left confident.
Meanwhile, I went up to Kutztown. Cow country. (Actually, the air smelled strongly of them, in fact!) A small, rural town- anyone familliar with Daton, Washington will know what I mean when I said I found Pennsylvania's hillier counterpart.
The job was in fact not a video editing position, but a graphic effects position using Adobe After Effects (another specialty of mine.) Apparently, a lot of Casinos are snapping up flatscreen and plasma TVs as the prices plummet- only to discover that even though they have a huge allotment of them cheap- they have no content to show on them. Thus, the job would entail creating graphic art- simillar to screensavers or the Windows Media Player art styles, synched to music, to play on the screens. It would also involve getting stills, trailers, and other first-look advanced-copy promo materials from a number of Hollywood studios and putting things together for promotions for the casinos as well. As it turns out, I was called in first among the interviews because of my No Line Cinemas animated logo, included on my demo reel- it impressed the owner, suggesting to him someone who knows not only graphic design, but also Hollywood and it's style- both valuable traits for the position. Things went swimingly. This was now three weeks from my move-out deadline. This Monday, the 15th, is the two-week deadline- by which time if I did not have a job, it was plain that I would need to begin preparations to move home come the 1st.
The time ticked on... I was supposed to hear from Kutztown by Monday, and Malvern by Friday... and when Wednesday had come with no word, and I was beginning to panic again, images of tearful goodbyes with my best friend playing in excrutiating loops within my head throughout the day, I finally called wrote to check in. Meanwhile, I new I would need some temporary cash, be it for moving to an appartment, or driving back across country- so after seeking to no avail a number of temp agencies and video contract positions, I finally began at the beginning of this week to seek employment at Giant and Rite Aid... Rite Aid accepted me, and I was preparing to start- when the studio from way back when, Lafeyette Hills, contacted me to come in for some contract work to help with a project. Even in the area of temporary work, the principle was the same- only when I humbled myself to do the 'lowly' work I didn't want to do (not that I look down on working in a grocery chain- I was just trying to find something higher-paying to start with) did God bring things through for me in the very area that I had once sought them! This temporary work pays twice what Rite Aid would have.
Thursday, all I heard back from Kutztown was an enigmatic "What are your salary requirements?" I responded, and waited... and the next day, I got my answer at last. "We have decided to pass on your services," they said. Cherry Hill had contacted me back, stating that they had someone else that could fill the position, but if I accepted by noon Friday, I could still have the job for the $25,000 plus benefits. It was maddening- I HAD a job offer... it was just one that wouldn't pay enough to live on! So, it was all down to Malvern- only they stood between my staying or failing and returning to Washington.
Thursday night, I got my answer... Malvern said no. I was in full-blown panic mode, tearful at the thought of leaving Sarah, in disbelief and shock and frustration that everything had fallen through this way. And yet, there was still one tiny ray of hope- if Lafeyette Hills would take me on full time. As it turns out, everyone else at the studio, besides the 'good cop' and 'bad cop,' were extremely nice, very friendly, and fun- the environment reminded me of my first job at ACT Video Productions- even down to the cheerleader-style-cheer-to-drum-up-business routine at staff meetings. It seemed like a wonderful place to work- they were impressed with my editing, and said they could certainly use another editor full time- buit still didn't think they had the budget to bring somone on full time. They said I would have an answer Saturday.
With hope existant but slim, I went on Friday and got the title to the car and business at the DMV finally taken care of at last. I also called Sarah, leaving on vacation- a frstrating irony that in this, the crunch time, the grimmest moment, I wouldn't be able to see her through it. But she reminded me, as we both kept saying, that God could work things out- I had a list of things (My work, my finances, the car situation, and a number of personal issues) that I had the feeling I would know one way or another by Friday... and at the moment, the car situation was the only one I did- and that by the end of the day, I could still have all my answers... and of course, that even if I didn't, He was still in control. I halfheartedly agreed and continued through the day, checked my e-mail... and found that Cherry Hill had CAVED! They have agreed to hire me on at $30,000 without benefits; which I can make a living off of! Less than an hour after Sarah reminded me of that fact, God did indeed work things out.
And now I feel rather foolish- I knew at the time that it was what He had worked out for me. And yet I allowed myself to fall into the trap of believing that since things looked impossible from a human perspective, that God wasn't going to work things out! Already I can see so many of the reasons why He worked things out the way He did- if I hadn't believed I would be strapped for cash because I was alternativeless, I might never have gotten past my initial bad impression at Lafeytte Hills, whom, though they cannot bring me aboard full time, are happy to have me for the two days a week that I am not working at Cherry Hill for the first month and a half, thus solving that cash flow problem! And I do now that, honestly, had the job at Cherry Hill come through any earlier, even a day... I probably would have taken the credit for it. Already, it's easy enough to think "I played hardball, I stuck to my guns, and they give in- I saw their bluff about 'another candidate' and I held out and I WON!" But as I came to admit so many times during the last few weeks, I knew that if this job situation worked out, it would be solely due to God' grace, not my own efforts- and God's choice of timing in working this out leaves NO DOUBT in my mind that it was due to Him... there is no one else to whom the credit can go. So now, all of the 'dream scenarios' of this 'ideal job' have been realized, PLUS several of the pitfalls, like the cash shortage for the first month, have been filled in, too! Truly, God is good! (Of course, He still was even when everything was depressing and frustrating and altogether hopeless-seeming... but now it is easier to see it!) Even the appartment/room to rent that I had been looking at ($500 a month for rent and utilities combined) back when Cherry Hills was looking like a likelihood has remained unfilled for two weeks, leaving me with an easy option for find housing in the area!
So, that is my tale. I do not know how often this blog will be updated now; the three months are drawing to a close, the big situations have nearly all been resolved... I am sure there will still be things to blog about- when I move out, for instance, and am truly starting 'on my own'- but at least for these initial chronicles, this tumultuous time of trying to get established, this first three month 'trial period,' God has truly brought about a happy ending!
One last thing: Assuming a little bit of html formatting works out here... feel free to check out my website any time (newly updated with 'Heroes!') but be sure to at least check out this awesome logo just created for me as a gift from that most talented and incredible web designer, Susannah Gilbertson!
